Reflections

Reading through these specific blog posts, i notice a pattern; these people are afraid of love. They bring up the facts that yes, love can be great and all, but in the end its not always worth getting hurt over. I agree with the common thought "you shouldn't fall in love unless you know the other feels the same or you're both mature enough to handle it". You shouldn't rush into falling in love because you have your whole life ahead of you to find someone right. People are afraid of falling in love because of the pain and hurt that is associated with it. "Pain is gain". Without getting hurt, one doesn't learn and move on and become stronger. Love may not be the greatest thing ever all the time, it probably sucks sometimes but people who have fallen in love say its the best feeling. I myself am afraid of love and have no idea what to expect but i'm not shielding myself from it. People who say that they'll never fall in love are lying to themselves because one day, it will most likely happen whether they want it to or not. Putting love out of your life because you're scared is cowardly.

To love or not to love

To love or not to love that is the question. To love or not is someones own choice. Personally, I'd go with "to love" but to others "not to love" is the way they want to go. I've grown up surrounded by people who love me. I believe that people who love people and their surroundings are more happy than the ones who choose to hate and exclude themselves from any type of love. Loving people is a hard process, with the fear of rejection always there. But, being loved in return is possibly one of the best feelings in the world. I've heard from many people that they would choose the one they love or things they love over things like money or materialistic things. Choosing not to love would be a mistake in my perspective because love is a beautiful thing. One of the biggest reasons people choose not to love is because of trust issues. To me, its better to trust someone and get cheated than to cheat yourself by not trusting anyone. Pain is gain. Love is not an easy thing and you shouldn't give up. Sometimes, you have to go through the rough before the good comes out of it all.   Choosing "to love" can impact your life by making yourself happier while choosing "not to love" will leave you a lonely and sad life. Love makes the heart grow.

Childless

Growing up, I would always play family pretend games and would take care of my baby dolls. Not many people I knew of had no children. Now as the years have gone by and women are becoming more independent, the birth rate is decreasing and more and more women aren't having children. Personally, when I'm older, I plan on having a few children. But when it comes to other people's choice on whether or not they are going to have children doesnt bother me. If someone chooses not to have children, it's their own choice. In the article, "None is Enough", the examples of people giving their reasons why they don't want to have children makes sense. One quote that stuck out to me the most was "everyone with a womb doesn't have to have a child anymore than everybody with vocal cords has to be an opera singer" After reading this, I thought about it and realize the truth in it. Not everyone has to be a parent even though that has been the ideal image for women when they grow up. People shouldn't put down women's choices not to have children unless they are ready for someone to put down their choice of having children. Not having children shouldn't be shamed or discouraged, nor should it be encouraged. If someone doesn't want to have a child then they don't need too. Having a child is hard and time consuming and some people don't have time for that.  Some people who haven't had children don't regret their choice or think that their choice is wrong. Just because someone doesn't want a child doesn't mean that they hate children, they could love children but what they're doing with their life is more important to them. Making something out of their life shouldn't be hated on. Not having children is understandable though; sleepless nights and stress

next 18+ years. For myself, I can't imagine myself not having any children even with the 8 other siblings that I have. I definitely do not want eight children but three or four sounds fine to me. I think that if you don't have children there is going to be something missing in your life whether you care or not. Every woman has a special gift of being able to carry a child and I think that if you are able to, you should take advantage of the situation but if someone doesn't want to then that's their choice and you can't change their mind. 

Representation of Love

Old friendships, family and friends

Interview with my mother

Mac: Hello Karen
Karen: Hello Mackenzie
Mac: Wow, 9 kids... what is it like?
Karen: It's interesting, its comical. It's guilt ridden.
Mac: Guilt ridden?
Karen: Yeah, sometimes i feel guilty because i wanna spend more time with each of you but time doesn't always allow that and sometimes one of you might feel like im not giving enough attention to one as i am the other...you have to question everything that you tell your child and make sure that they're listening.
Mac: Do you regret having 9 children?
Karen: I think its overwhelming something... but I wouldn't trade it. Although I could get rid of child number 3 *laughs*
Mac: Ha ha... What is it like having so many children?
Karen: Its hectic, its an emotional rollercoaster but at the same time its fun.. when they're not killing each other.
Mac: If there was anything you could change, would you?
Karen: I wish lanie was a little less high strung... um i think i wish cass would be heathly and happy with herself...
Mac: Would you change one of your children completely?
Karen: No, never.
Mac: How can you treat them all equally when there's so many and they're all different?
Karen: Because I love them all equally and they're all individuals so sometimes things might not seem equal or fair but they are treated based on their individual needs. One form of discipline may work for one but not the other but they are all loved equally and there are different things about each one of them that are unique and special.
Mac: Since there is only one boy with eight girls, which gender would you rather have?
Karen: I wouldn't change it... I like girls because i understand them. Zachery confuses the living hell out of me. There are things with boys that you wouldn't think of having until they reach that age. Teaching them how to be men, how to be responsible, how to treat women and be self confidence and not be a punk. But sometimes I do wish he had a brother.. You guys are all lucky, i think hes okay with it but i think he deep down wishes he had one.
Mac: What's your ideal child?
Karen: Healthy, happy and self confident.
Mac: If you had a child with a disability, would you still accept them?
Karen: I do.. I have to deal with Zachery and his asthma and his ADHD and Delaneys ADHD. I mean i know its not as big as a disability as others have- and i would still care for you no matter what your condition.
Mac: Honestly, do you spy and sneak around to know what your child is up to?
Karen: No, I don't go through your room but if i have a question I will just come out and ask you and i expect a honest answer... now have i wanted to sneak through your room? Ya i've wanted to but i dont unless i thought you were in some sort of danger or something had to do with a matter of your safety.
Mac: You've experienced 2 children leaving, are you prepared for more to leave?
Karen: Yes and no.
Mac: How?
Karen: You wait for your babies to grow up and see what they're gonna do and how they handle life and knowing that if they ever get in trouble they have a place to go and we'll always have their back. And yet, at the same time you want them to stay little because it was so easy to take care of the little problems. Whoever said babies were hard obviously hadn't had teenagers yet.
Mac: What's something you want to teach or pass onto your children?
Karen: Well, i've noticed as ive gotten older that i wanna pass on a lot of the Greek traditions that we hadn't done in the past. I feel its important for you guys to know where you came from. And the other important thing that i want to pass onto you guys is that you guys are a family and you may not always agree with what one of your siblings is doing or saying but you have to respect them and be there for them and that not talking to them or shutting them out of your life is not an option. Also, to be more educated about their faith and God...
Mac: Have you always wanted children?
Karen: Some. I never imagined nine. My great grandmother had 7 children and i feel that somehow i was chosen to help carry on the family genes or whatever you call it.
Mac: How has having children impacted your life? Good and bad
Karen: It's taught me patience, which i still don't always have. It's taught me that my family is more important than how much money we have, what vacations we go on, what name is on your clothes. It's also hindering because at times i feel trapped into not being able to do what i want to do because my first priority is taking care of you guys... Stuff as simple as going out to see a friend or going out to pursue an education.
Mac: Are there any opportunities you wish your kids could or could've had?
Karen: Yeah... i would've liked Delaney to be able to pursue gymnastics because i think she has a talent for that.. I often wish Cass would've done something with her voice and how she can be so animated in her actions sometimes that she might be able to enjoy something like acting if she took it seriously... for you, i want you to have more self confidence and not be afraid to take chances.. safe chances. I want Tiph to graduate from college feeling proud and knowing that even though her dream might not happen right away but with hard work and time she can figure out what she wants to do and make it happen. And Alex, who is a lot like you, i wish the same things for her as i do for you.
Mac: Is having children harder than you thought?
Karen: Yeah... yeah because you worry about every decision you make, worried if its not the right one and when you're babies you think its so hard but its nothing when you compare it to what happens when your teenagers when you have to figure out what you want to do and what you want to become because teenagers think that they're invincible and think nothing bad will happen to them. So you have to constantly talk to them and remind them of their actions, every actions, whether their good or bad, and that some mistakes stay with you for a lifetime. Sometimes i do feel trapped though because its difficult to do simple things such as going out to dinner or meeting up with friends, taking vacations, going to school. To Alex, Tiph, you, Cass and Jess; I'm still considered a young parent. By the time Zach and them start getting older, people are gonna start thinking that i'm not their parent, that im their grandparent. By the time Maddie graduates, I'll be 60 years old and that bothers me.
Mac: Has your love for your husband been gained or lost?
Karen: I think it goes through ups and downs. You know, Dad travels a lot so most of the decisions that get made get made by me and as much as i think he wants to be involved, i think he has trouble knowing how to do that because of the way he was raised.
Mac: How much money do you spend on us?
Karen: Yes you're very expensive. Food alone is a big expense, spending 3-5 hundred each week. Plus the money everyone asks for when they want to run to the movies or the mall and all of the clothes. And christmas time is insane.

Mac: Wow, that was very insightful. Thank you mom. I learned some things i didn't know before.. I was surprised by a few answers but expected some of the others...
Karen: You're very welcome my love.

Daily Exposures

I like having the daily exposures. Every day, it's something different that we have to think about. We have to look through different perspectives, from the audience and the speaker. Looking through each exposure, most of the time I enjoyed the song, poem, video or picture. I liked the meanings and agreed with many of the points, like in Bob Dylan's "Masters of War" and Flawed by Andrea Dorfman. Each daily exposure has a purpose and we think of the points that we need for writing. 

Flifferhuzza

Walking down the street, thinking "Wow, I could go for a coffee. I really wish I had 10 dollars ... If only Kristy paid me back yesterday." Minding my business, my feet stomping on the crunchy leaves. I look down and see a small green piece of paper. No, it couldn't be. What a flifferhuzza, a 20 dollar bill! How could this be? This day could not get anymore coincidental. I decide to go into Starbucks for a caramel swirl coffee and a pumpkin muffin with my newly found money. I open the door and almost knock someone over "I'm sorry- Oh! Fancy seeing you here, Kristy. What a flifferhuzza!" Kristy looks at me and smiles "You're right its a flifferhuzza! I was just about to visit you at work with a caramel swirl with xtra sugar and a shot of mocha and a pumpkin muffin" Wow, it really is a flifferhuzza. I smile and we start talking, This is great.